Glimpses
by Sunni
Summary: A peek inside the lost scene vault of 'Chaos Theory'


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Title: Glimpses

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Author: Lanie

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Disclaimer: As much as they beg me… I won't ever own Carter and Abby, or the rights to ER. I'm just borrowing them while I vent some creative energy. 

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Spoilers: "Chaos Theory"

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Summary: A peek inside the 'lost' scene vault of "Chaos Theory". Carby. 

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Notes: First off, I want to recognize Nikki and all the hard work she's put in to "Quarantine". I actually had the intention to do this for quite some time… You just beat me to it. They do say great minds think alike. Give me a shout, Nikki. (mksid@shaw.ca) I'd love to know your story behind the story!

Second… Much thanks to all those who continue to read and respond to my work. And to all the other writers out there who continually churn out great prose of their own! It's nice to know I'm not alone in this camp. 

Thirdly, to Starfish and IAS (a/k/a KenzieGal). Thanks for sticking by me through the best and the worst of it. Some people aren't fortunate to have even one great beta. I have two. I'm so greedy. 

LASTLY (shut up already!)… I hope everyone can follow this. I didn't follow a traditional format, but I have included special headers for each different "glimpse". There is method to my madness. I didn't include all days, because really… At 21 pages I could have gone on forever! 

Oh, and… Enjoy. 

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***Day 1: Affirmations***

"Tell me we're gonna be okay."

It was a request. 

On the surface, she wanted him to tell her they were out of danger. That Adam would be okay. That they would get through this. That tomorrow would be just another ordinary day.

Inside, she wanted to know where they were_. _She needed him to tell her that they would get through this trial, just as they had all the others.The addictions. The drugs. The drinking. The quiet torment. The pain - inflicted and endured. The questions. 

It wasn't the same, anymore. They couldn't go back.

Carter kissed her, hesitating only in his head. 

The look on her face said it all. Silent surprise. Relief. She wanted this.

He stood then, his hands finding a place of rest on her hips. He found the voice that had eluded him many times in the past, the courage to tell her what his heart wanted her to know. 

"We're gonna be okay." 

Abby watched him, unblinking, the faintest smile on her lips. 

"We're gonna be okay." 

He kissed her again. Softly, like the first. Only this time, that hesitation… that tentativeness… was gone. In its place was a sense of comfort. Comfort in his words. His way of telling her that they would be okay. 

They both felt it.

Her hand slowly traveled down, coming to rest on his forearm. She squeezed it lightly. Letting him know she was there. To assure herself that he was really there.

This wasn't a dream. It was real. 

They parted with reluctance, neither one wanting to let go quite so quickly. Abby gazed up at him, her eyes a mix of emotion. A part of her wanted to wrap her arms around him, shouting for joy. Yet, it was the silent, pensive Abby, always lurking just beneath the surface that urged her to keep her distance.

Don't set yourself up. 

Carter stroked her cheek gently, his fingers lingering over her hot, damp skin. "What's wrong?"

She stared at him for a moment before shaking her head. "I… I can't… "

His heart fell. "Don't say you can't do this Abby…"

She swallowed slowly, taking a step back, looking away. "I just… I don't know." 

He wasn't about to give up so easily. "You do know Abby. You just told me."

When she didn't respond, he took her hand and brought it up to her chest, resting it over her heart. "Do you feel that, Abby? What's it telling you?" 

She nodded, quietly, her eyes transfixed on the tile floor. He took her hand again, this time turning it and placing it over his own heart. 

"Mine's telling me the same thing."

Abby lifted her head, looking up at him. She sighed, closing her eyes, a solitary tear sliding down her cheek.

"I know," She confessed, her voice barely audible.

Carter pulled her to him, letting go of her hand in favor of wrapping his arms tightly around her body. To his elation, she reciprocated, pushing her arms through his, clasping them behind his back. She buried her head in his chest, inhaling deeply. He kissed the top of her head. He closed his eyes, searing the moment in his mind. 

They stood like that for several moments, until he felt her shift, pulling back. He opened his eyes, looking down. Her cheeks glistened brightly, matching the sparkle in her eyes. He brought a hand up to brush a lock of hair away from her face. 

"You okay?"

She nodded sincerely. "I am now." 

He smiled and leaned in, resting his forehead against hers.

"Good. Now where's that ice pack…" 

****

***Day 1: Reassurance***

Abby propped herself up on her elbows, watching Carter rise up to meet her. "Do you think somebody did this on purpose?"

He paused. "Does it matter?"

She frowned. "What do you mean?"

Carter nodded and motioned with his hand. She complied, rolling onto her side. 

He scanned her back lightly, his fingers lingering along the waistband of her scrubs. "… I mean, viruses mutate, that's what they do. We're more likely to control bio-terrorism than Mother Nature."

She scoffed, smirking a little. "Thanks, that makes me feel a lot better."

Carter ceased his examination, straightening. "No rash. Nice tattoo though." He leaned over – giving in - kissing her neck. 

Abby's smile grew at the feel of his lips on her skin. It was even better than she'd ever imagined it would feel like. 

"College, I was drunk."

He nodded and pulled back her hair, allowing himself further access. "Is that what I think it is?"

"I was going through a religious phase."

"Mmm hmm." He braced an arm on either side of her body. 

She rolled over slightly, looking up at him. The smile she gave him as their eyes met was enough to send his heart flying, and he leaned in and kissed her lightly on the lips. Abby reached up and stoked the side of his face quietly. He kissed her again, lining his torso up with hers. And again, easing her head back onto the pillow. She ran her fingers up and down his spine. It was a gentle, sensual touch that was sure to raise his arousal.

It worked - she concluded - as she felt him stiffen, then relax with her movements.

"Abby…" He moaned against her lips. 

She guided her fingers up his arm. "Like it?"

He pulled back a little, looking down at her. She smiled and winked at him, tapping him on the nose lightly. He groaned and closed the distance between them once more, burying his head between her neck and her chest, kissing her through her sweat-stained t-shirt.

Abby giggled. "I'll take that as a yes."

She took her hands and placed them on either side of his head, drawing him upwards again.

And when they were face-to-face.

"Hi."

He smiled. "Hi."

She bit her bottom lip and gazed at him for a few moments before she rolled onto her side again. She pulled him with her, looking back up at him, her eyes indicating what she wanted.

He nodded silently and hoisted himself up onto the gurney, his body falling to rest just beside her, his head lying on the pillow next to her. His arms wrapped themselves tightly around her, pulling her closer. 

She sighed softly and responded to his actions, leaning back against him. 

"Goodnight." 

****

***Day 7: Discoveries***

"Damn it," Abby cursed as her hand snagged on her damp hair. 

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing…" She pulled her hand away from her head and examined it. She sighed and looked at Chen. "Do you have a nail file?" 

Chen finished rinsing the sink and turned around. "Um, yeah. Try my bag. There should be a kit in the inside pocket."

Abby draped the towel around her shoulders and made her way into the exam room the two women were sharing. Spotting the bag on the counter, she began to sift through its contents when something familiar caught her eye. She bit her lip in thought as she fingered the item. 

Chen pushed through the door.

"Did you find it?"

"Uhh… I think so – Oh, wait… That's not it. Ah. Here we go." Abby saw the manicure set in the corner and plucked it out from the bag. She held it up triumphantly for Chen to see. "Thanks."

She sat down on her gurney and began to work at repairing her nail while her friend puttered around the room. 

"Argh. I can't believe it's only day seven." 

Abby scoffed. "Tell me about it." 

"I miss the outside world." Chen turned and faced Abby. "Don't you?"

Abby looked up, staring at nothing in particular, as she began to tick things off on her fingers. "Uh, let me see. Bills, phone calls, work, laundry, noisy neighbors, lazy supers…" She made a face. "Nope. Can't say I do."

"Aww. Come on…" Chen crossed her arms and perched herself next to Abby. "There's got to be something out there that you just can't wait to get out and do…"

Abby sighed, defeated. "I'd kill for a cigarette."

"But you're doing so good!"

She rolled her eyes. "Yeah, right." She paused for a moment, seemingly lost in thought, before lobbing the question back at her friend. "What's your thing?"

Chen raised her eyebrows. "My thing?"

"What's the one thing you can't wait to get out and do once we blow this popsicle stand?"

"Oh. Umm…" Chen gazed off into the distance as a coy smile danced across her lips. "Sex. Lots and lots of sex."

Abby laughed in disbelief. "Really?"

Chen scowled at her friend's reaction. "Hey! This girl's got needs." She smiled at Abby. "Come on… Tell me you weren't thinking about it, too."

"I did not!" Abby pushed herself off the gurney and went to put the kit away, hoping that Chen would drop the subject. 

The truth was she hadn't thought about having a cigarette in a long time. 

Persistence, however, was one of Chen's trademarks. 

"Sure, sure," She chided from behind. "Come on, Abby… Don't think that I don't know."

Abby turned around. "Know what?"

Chen nodded, her grin growing. "I've seen the looks he gives you. They're the same ones you're giving right back to him." 

Abby opened her mouth to protest, but her blush was faster. 

Chen's eyes grew wide. "I knew it!" She squealed. 

"Shh!" Abby hissed, crossing her arms over her chest.

Chen covered her mouth but couldn't stop grinning. "It's about time, you know."

"Gee… Thanks." Abby shook her head, laughing lightly. 

"No really…" Chen stepped forward and wrapped her arms around Abby's shoulders. "… I'm happy for you two." She pulled back, looking at Abby. 

Abby smiled warmly. "Thanks."

Chen beamed. 

"So, umm… Now that you know, could you do me a couple of favors?"

"Sure. What?"

Abby took a deep breath. "Well, umm… Keep it quiet? Please? Just for now."

Chen rolled her eyes. "Of course. What else?" 

"Yeah… Uh." Abby glanced around briefly before uncrossing her arms. She held a hand up, her fingers clasped around three latex condoms. 

"Let me have these?"

****

***Day 7: Reactions***

She had something she wanted to show him.

His voice came from the other end of the hallway as she approached. She smiled. Her heart beat a little faster. 

She hoped he would like it.

A crash alerted her attention. Frowning, she peered through the windows and rounded the corner. 

"What the hell is going on in here, Stan?" She stopped, looking from the broken glass on the floor to the man laying on the gurney in the hallway. 

Stan sat up and shrugged, then brightened as he eyed her new look.

"Hey… Nice 'do. Frames your face better."

Abby blinked at him and nodded, a small smile creeping across her lips. "Thanks."

Stan ticked his head down the hall. "They went that way."

After uttering her thanks once more, she set off in pursuit of the culprits.

She found them laughing by the admit desk.

"It's just a broken window." Pratt quipped. "They're not going to flip out over a broken window."

Carter shook his head. "You haven't worked here as long as I have. Trust me." 

"We'll just tell them it happened during the riot. No one will… " Pratt turned and saw Abby standing there, watching them. His eyes grew wide, his mouth flanked open.

"Whoah."

Abby folded her arms across her chest and smirked playfully. 

"Hey, man…" Pratt thumped Carter on the back. Carter turned around, catching sight of Abby, and did a double take.

"Check it out…" Pratt said, nodding his approval.

Abby's laughed, shaking her head. The young doctor was obviously impressed. It was someone else's reaction, however, that amused her. 

She raised her eyebrows at him. 

He was stunned speechless.

Pratt looked from Abby to Carter and pushed himself away from the desk. He paused briefly at Abby's side on his way out. 

"Seriously… It looks hot." 

She smiled, her eyes never leaving Carter's form. "Thanks, Pratt." 

He swaggered off with low wolf whistle. Abby rolled her eyes and approached the admit desk, leaning forward and resting her elbows on it. She plopped her chin in her hands and watched Carter slowly regain his composure. 

"I wish I had a camera."

"Wow…"

She raised an eyebrow. "You like?"

Carter swallowed and stepped forward, forcing himself to blink. "Yeah…"

Abby sighed and fingered a few strands of hair, putting on a thoughtful face. "Really? You don't think it makes me look too old?" She winked at him playfully. 

He shook his head, sliding his hands across the surface of the desk in a lazy, distracted motion. "No… I think it looks incredible."

His expression was seriously earnest. 

She laughed and bowed her head slightly, allowing her hair to fall forward. She looked back up, meeting his eyes. The intensity of his gaze sent shivers down her spine. 

"I heard you had a thing for blondes." Her voice was soft, almost seductive. 

Carter looked around the ER before leaning towards her. Reaching out a hand, he fingered her newly lightened tresses. 

"Well, if I didn't before…" He smiled widely. "… I do now."

They held their gaze for several moments before she dared to break the spell. 

She had more for him.

"I've got something for you."

He lit up, raising his eyebrows. "Really?"

Abby laughed, nodding.

"What is it?"

She bit her lip playfully and pushed herself away from her perch. She turned on her heal and rounded the desk, coming to rest in front of him. She mimicked his previous glance around the room and took a deep breath, looking at the floor between them.

"I was thinking about what we talked about…"

He frowned. "What we…"

She glanced up, catching his eyes. "Last night." She raised her eyebrows for emphasis.

"Yeah?" His eyes grew wide. 

Abby smiled at his apparent excitement. "I know we both agreed to wait, but…"

"But…" He nodded, encouraging her to continue. 

"But it's been two years, and… Who knows what's going to happen…"

His face fell. "Abby, nothing's going to happen."

She was serious. "You don't know that."

He brought his hands to her shoulders, squeezing them lightly. "I do…"

She sighed with frustration. "Would you just let me finish?"

Carter backed off, holding his hands up in front of him. "Sorry."

Abby shook her head and stared up at the ceiling. "It's just that… I…" She stopped, at a loss for words. 

"It's just that what?" He urged. 

She lowered her head to meet his gaze again. Carter watched her dip into the pocket of her scrub top and pull something out. 

"It's just that… I'm tired of waiting." 

She pressed a package into the palm of his hand.

And then she was gone. 

****

***Day 7: Desires***

He looked up as she came into the lounge, stopping at the counter long enough to pour herself a cup of coffee. 

"Have you eaten?"

She set her mug down on the table and sat down, resting her head in her hands. 

"I had a big lunch."

"Abby…"

She rolled her eyes and shook her head. "I'm not very hungry."

Carter nodded and glanced back at the medical journal resting against his knees. "Where's Chen?"

Abby picked up her mug and held it casually in front of her. "Why?"

The leather couch squeaked under his shrug. "You two seem to be attached at the hip."

"Jealous?"

A sly smile crept across his lips. "I might be."

She set her mug down and pushed herself up from her chair, making towards the door. "I'll go and tell her you're looking for her…"

He laughed. "Hurry up." 

Carter settled himself back against the couch cushions, turning his attention back to his reading. He was aware of her eyes on him, the movement in the room as she approached him. A shadow fell over his body and he looked up.

"You're blocking my light," He complained with mock annoyance. 

"You don't read after midnight," She lobbed. 

"Well, then… It's a good thing it's only eight o'clock."

He grinned coyly and returned to the article, trying unsuccessfully to locate the place where he had left off. When she was in the room, it had become hard to think about anything else. He barely resisted when she reached down and pulled the magazine from his hands, tossing it carelessly onto the table behind her. She knelt down on the floor beside the couch, casually draping one arm across his abdomen. 

Her hand traced lazy circles over his stomach. "It's after midnight somewhere in the world…" 

"Ahh…" He lifted his own hand and guided it through her hair and down her other arm. "True." He clasped her free hand in his and brought it up to his mouth, grazing it with his lips. "What do you suggest we do, then?"

Abby sighed at his touch, closing her eyes. "Mmm… Whatever you want."

Carter paused in mid-caress, lacing his fingers through hers instead. "You."

Her eyes fluttered open and she looked at him intently. "What?"

His expression was composed, content. 

"I want you." 

****

***Day 8: First Times***

  
She met him in the hallway at eleven.  
  
"Hey."  
  
He marveled at the brightness of her eyes in the dim light.  
  
"Hi."  
  
She smiled and took his hand.  
  
"Where are they?"  
  
"In the lounge, watching TV. Chen?"  
  
"In bed, reading."  
  
He smiled. "Good."  
  
He led her down the hallway to the small room the staff had come to know as the hideaway. It was used during those long, late-night shifts when someone was fortunate enough to find a few minutes to rest. A refuge. A place of privacy. An escape.  
  
But tonight's occupants had something more romantic in mind.   
  
He opened the door and guided her inside, his hand resting lightly on the small of her back. He turned on the lamp in the corner, which cast a soft, comforting glow on the room. Carter had come in earlier and tidied things up, making sure it was presentable for her. A twin bed sat against the wall, the table beside it carried a small radio. Abby recognized it as the one that usually sat on the counter in the lounge. Music filtered from its tiny speakers, the tune barely recognizable to the couple.   
  
Or maybe they weren't listening.   
  
"It's not much, but it was the best I could do."  
  
"No. " She looked up at him. "It's lovely."  
  
"I know it's not the Ritz. And I wanted it to be perfect, but."  
  
She stepped in front of him then, placing a finger to his lips.  
  
"Shh." She smiled warmly. "I don't need details, John. Just you."  
  
He stroked her face. She leaned into his touch, closing her eyes.  
  
"Are you scared?"  
  
She laughed lightly and turned her head, kissing his palm. "No." She opened her eyes, gazing up at him, concerned. "Are you?"  
  
He shook his head.  
  
She reached up then, placing a hand behind his head, bringing it down to her level. Her lips found his easily, as if it was only a matter of instinct, and she kissed him. Softly at first, then more passionately. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close. Her lips parted as his tongue sought out their invitation. He inhaled deeply, drinking in her wonderful scent, and he pulled her even closer, doing away with any space that lay unoccupied between them.  
  
And then they parted, breathless and flushed. Hearts racing in harmony. Bodies entwined.  
  
She gazed up at him, her peaceful, content expression reflected in his own features. His hands roamed her back, fingers travelling along her spine, leaving a welcome sensation in their wake.  
  
"Pinch me."  
  
She made a face. "Excuse me?"  
  
He laughed at her expression, swaying their bodies from side to side. "Pinch me. So that I know I'm not dreaming."  
  
Abby smiled softly and slid her way down his arms, taking his hands in hers. "How about I show you instead." 

  
She guided herself backwards towards the bed, kneeling on it, pulling him to her.  
  
"I like the way you think."  
  
She dropped his hands and eased her palms around his torso. Grabbing his t-shirt, she jerked him forward, their lips meeting once again. The kiss grew more intense this time, as his hands continued their hungry search over her body. He fingered the hem of her shirt, pausing briefly before slipping his way underneath. His whole body tingled at the feel of his hands on her skin.   
  
She moaned softly against his lips, voicing her sanction to go further. She reciprocated his movements, sliding her own hands beneath his shirt and along his lower back. She felt him tense, then relax, as her fingers knowingly caressed their way across a certain area. She lingered there for several seconds, blindly tracing her way along the scars. He inhaled sharply, her touch sending sensitive waves through his abdomen. She pulled back, concerned.  
  
"Tell me if I'm hurting you."

Carter closed his eyes, shaking his head slowly. "No…" He opened his eyes, smiling down at her. "No one's ever touched me like that, before."

She mirrored his expression. "I'm glad I get to be the first." 

His fingers traced a heart on her flesh before pressing a hand to her back. "Keep it up, you might be the last, too."

She bit her lip, staring up at him, intensity radiating from her eyes. She blinked once, silently lifting her arms above her head.

"And the last shall be first…"

"Something like that."

So began a series of long awaited firsts. Clothes were removed and tossed aside. Hands journeyed, familiarizing themselves with their respective landscapes. He kissed her temples, her cheeks, her neck. Her lips traveled a line along his jaw, down to the tips of his shoulders, her fingers trailing behind. Their breaths came in short gasps, craving the taste that came with their desire for each other. 

They were ready. 

He laid her down gently, easing her head onto the pillow. She searched his eyes, looking for that match of emotion that she knew he carried. She pulled him close, wrapping herself around him tightly, not wanting to let go. Not now. Not ever. 

This was it.

At long last.

They parted briefly. He stroked her face lovingly, gazing down at her. She smiled. His name danced across her lips so softly that, had he not been so focused on her, he would have missed it.

And when they finally came together as one, it was better than either of them dreamed it would be. Two years of waiting… Wanting… Yearning. Through hopes. And through heartaches. 

None of that mattered now.

What was once lost, had been found. And it was to be treasured.

Afterwards they lay underneath the covers. Arms and legs entwined. Her head on his chest. His hands in her hair. 

"What are you thinking about?" His voice was quiet, dreamy. 

Abby smiled, staring at the hand she'd splayed across his abdomen. "You tell me." 

Carter sighed, kissing the top of her head. "You're thinking about how there are no words to describe just how incredible that was." 

She closed her eyes. "Exactly." 

He picked her hand up, kissing the back of it. "Abby…"

"Hmm?" When he didn't continue, she raised her head, gazing up at him. "What is it?"

He grinned playfully, shaking his head. "Nothing. I just like the way your name rolls right off my tongue." 

"Oh really?" Abby responded by rolling over so she was directly over top of him. "Let's see what else you like rolling your way…" 

A low moan escaped his lips as she rose up to kiss him. His hands moved down around her waist as hers found their own mission between them.

"Oww!" 

Abby pulled back abruptly, dissolving into a fit of giggles.

Carter rubbed his side, frowning painfully. "What was that for?" 

She pursed her lips together, trying to contain her laughter. "You asked for it." 

"When did I…" His expression changed as a realization hit him. "Oh..." 

She nodded knowingly and lowered herself down once more. "Trust me…" 

She kissed the tip of his nose. 

"We're not dreaming anymore."

****

***Day 9: Mornings After***

Behind his eyelids, he was faintly aware of someone calling his name. He smiled when he realized who it was, tightening his grip around her. 

"Rise and shine, sleepyhead…"

He felt her hands begin to wander under the sheet, gently roaming the length of his body until she found what she was looking for.

She giggled as his eyes shot open. 

"Well, that did the trick."

He opened his mouth in protest, but thought better, laughing it off. 

She wiggled out of his grip, reaching up and kissing his chin. "Morning," She cooed.

"Good morning, yourself." Carter smiled, gazing down at her. "Sleep well?"

Abby closed her eyes, nodding. "Mmmm. Like a baby." She opened one eye, peering at him. "You?"

He shrugged. "Not really."

She frowned, eliciting a laugh from him.

"I was too busy watching you." 

She blushed, bowing her head with slight embarrassment. "I hope I was worth the price of admission."

He drew a hand up, tipping her face to his. "Every penny. I could stare at you every night. You're beautiful."

She didn't recognize the feeling that washed over her then, but she knew she liked it. 

"Oh."

Carter leaned down, kissing her quietly. Abby rose to his level, lofting her hand up his chest, cupping it against his cheek. His hands traveled around her bare back, pushing the sheet down slightly.

"Carter…" She warned. She pulled away from the kiss, propping herself up with an elbow. She raised her eyebrows. "It's morning… We can't." 

He mimicked her position, pouting. "Why not?"

She rolled her eyes. "They'll hear us." 

"So?"

Abby's eyes grew wide. "So?" She sighed, shaking her head at him. 

He watched her react, a sly smile creeping across his face. He knew exactly which buttons to push. He eyed her as a hand guided its way up her arm to her neck. 

"Carter…" She protested.

But it was too late.

His response was physical, as he suddenly dropped back down on his pillow, dragging her on top of him. Answering her squeals of delight, he kissed her more aggressively, his hands getting lost in her tangle of hair. She smiled at his ferocity, biting his lower lip playfully, her arms braced on his chest. 

Abby drew her head up a moment later, panting for air. She grinned down at him, winking. "So I take it you're a morning person?"

Carter licked his lips, wagging his eyebrows up and down devilishly.

"Guess you're just going to have to find out." 

****

***Day 12: Looking Back***

He went looking for her.

She was standing in the suture room, her back to him.

He paused for a moment before opening the door.

She knew it was him.

"I'm sorry."

Abby turned and stared at him for a moment before blinking and looking away. 

"No, you're not."

Carter frowned. "What?"

She sighed and rolled her head up to look at him. "You're not sorry." A smile crept to her lips. "I know you better than that."

He approached her slowly. "I never meant to upset you."

She pressed her lips together, barely nodding, and turned her attention back to the room.

"Hard to believe this is where it all began."

Carter watched her from behind, his face soft with emotion. "And now it's almost over."

She looked up at him again. "Do you think we did everything we could to save her?"

He paused for a moment before answering. "Yeah. I do." 

Abby looked at the gurney Bree laid on twelve days earlier and shook her head. "She was so young."

He raised his hands to touch her, hesitating briefly before resting them on her shoulders. He'd comforted her in the past, but now… Why did it seem so different? 

"Abby…" 

She shook her head but made no move to separate herself from him. "I just keep thinking… If I'd gotten to them an hour earlier…"

"Shh…" Carter ran his hands over her shoulders, massaging them. "There was nothing, Abby."

She twisted around in his grasp, gazing up at him. The anguish in her eyes broke his heart. All he could do was pull her close. She responded to his movements, wrapping her arms around his torso, resting her head against his chest. 

"I was so scared…"

"Me, too."

Abby pulled back slightly, eyebrows raised. "Really?"

Carter took this chance to brush a lock of stray hair away from her face. "If anything had happened to you…"

"You'd go on..." She finished.

He swallowed, speaking softly. "I'm not so sure I'd be able to."

"Yes, you would."

He opened his mouth to protest, but thought better of it. She smiled up at him, challenging him to continue. He shook his head and pulled her close once more, adorning her forehead with a few feather kisses. 

"I'm sorry." 

"John... Don't." Abby raised her head again looking at him. "Not tonight."

He sighed heavily. "Abby… We're going to have to talk about this sooner or later."

"Then we'll talk about it later…"

She grinned coyly, pulling her body to his once more.

"I'm not ready for reality just yet."

****

***Day 13: Resolutions***

"Eager to leave, are we?"

Abby looked up from her bag. He was standing in the doorway, leaning casually against the frame. Watching her. She shook her head and resumed packing. 

"This place opens up at six a.m. tomorrow. And I'm not going to be here when it does."

"Aww come on…" Carter pushed himself away from the doorframe, closing the distance between them. "I would have thought this place would have grown on you by now." 

"Nope." She glanced up at him. "Sorry." 

He picked up one of her t-shirts and began to fold it. "Not even a little?" 

Abby paused thoughtfully, a smile growing on her face. "Maybe a little. Some rooms more than others…"

He laughed, his own grin becoming too hard to hide. "Thought so." He shifted position, holding the folded t-shirt out to her. She looked up at him and took it, winking as she did. He set about in motion again, wandering around the room.

"So…"

"So?" She repeated, shoving another garment in her bag. 

Carter looked at the floor, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand. "So… Are we going to talk about last night?"

Abby stopped packing and turned around, crossing her arms over her chest. "Okay… Let's talk." 

He glanced up, waiting for more.

She raised her eyebrows. "What? You want me to start?"

He sighed. "Yes." 

"Fine, then. I'll start. Since when do you call the shots?"

"Abby…"

She held a hand up to stop him. "No. I want to know. Since when do you know what's best for me, Dr. Carter?"

He closed his eyes, shaking his head. "Abby, if you could just see how much you're hurting yourself…"

Abby's mouth dropped open. "I'm hurting myself? I'm sorry, but I think I know what I'm doing. I went to that meeting, Carter. I went for you."

Carter swallowed. "That's not enough, Abby. You need to go for yourself."

She rolled her eyes in exasperation. "You don't get it, Carter. I'm fine. I don't need to be fixed."

"No, you don't get it Abby!" He burst out, startling himself. He paused for a moment before continuing. "I don't want to fix you… I want to help you. I want this to work… For us."

Abby shook her head. "So what? You're giving me an ultimatum, then?"

"No…"

"I attend the meetings and we can be together? Is that it? I work through all the steps, and I get to spend the night with you? Is that what I'm supposed to want?"

"That's not what I meant."

She sighed. Covering her eyes with her hand, she took a few deep breaths to calm herself. She shook her head again.

"I… I don't think we're going to work. Not like this." She opened her eyes, looking straight at him. "Not now." 

He was hurt. "Abby please…" 

Abby blinked slowly and took a deep breath, forcing the tears away. "Your turn." 

Carter frowned. "What?" 

She shrugged. "You wanted me to start. Now it's your turn…Make me a counter-offer. Convince me to stay."

"Oh." He looked down at the floor, trying to collect his emotions. "I don't know if I can… now." His eyes drifted upwards once more.

She smiled, faintly. "Sure you can."

Her eyes issued the challenge, and it only took him a moment to figure it out. 

"All I want is you, Abby. After two years… " He laughed. "This is hardly how I imagined it would be."

Her face softened further and she approached him cautiously, her eyes fixated on his. "Is it worse?"

"No…" He smiled. "It's much, much better."

She tipped her head to the side. "Then what?"

Carter was silent for a moment, thinking. He shook his head and shrugged, taking one of her hands, playing with her fingers. "I guess I'm just afraid that it might be too good to be true." 

Abby raised her eyebrows in surprise before she dropped his hand, choosing instead to wrap her arms around his neck. He watched her with acute interest, trying to interpret her actions. 

She stroked the back of her neck. "Is that all?"

He made a face. "All?"

She reached up on her toes, kissing him lightly on the lips. 

"Don't be so pessimistic, Carter. That's my job."

Carter frowned questioningly. "So… Are we okay?"

Abby smiled, running her fingers through his hair.

"What do you think?" 

****

***Day 14: And They All Lived***

Abby surfaced on the water, holding her hands out to float herself.

"You coming in?" She shouted in his direction. 

It was all Carter could do to keep from falling over. He shook his head again, laughing.

"Come on, the water is great!" She pinched her nose and dove under once more, reveling in the cool, refreshing surroundings that instantly enveloped her. She bobbed up again and took in the progress of the man standing on the shore. 

He scouted the beach for onlookers – uniformed and otherwise. "You're really something, you know that?"

Abby cocked an eyebrow. "Wanna come be something with me?"

They stared at each other for several moments, contemplating the dare. Carter took one more quick glance around, dropped his shoes and pulled his shirt over his head. Abby's eyes grew wide and she dove under the water, swimming farther back from the shore. As she surfaced, she was greeted by a splash in the distance as he made for her direction. She bit her lip and waited for his arrival, giggling lightly as she felt the wave of his approach. He stopped just short of her reach, popping up in front of her, panting for air. 

She shook her head. "I can't believe you just did that."

He wiped the water out of his eyes, sneering mischievously. "I guess two weeks in quarantine will drive even the most cautious souls to new levels of excitement."

She laughed. "I guess so." 

"I should point out though," He added, looking over his shoulder quickly, "That we're going to have a lot of 'splaining to do if someone catches us out here."

Abby reached out, pulling herself towards him, wrapping her arms around his neck. She could feel his chest rise and fall with his breathing, as his arms worked to keep them both above water.

"Well then… we're just going to have to swim fast, aren't we?"

She smiled seductively, bringing her head down to his for a kiss. She felt him falter slightly in the water and pulled him upwards as their lips mingled together passionately. 

Carter resisted the urge to pull her closer into his embrace, choosing to concentrate on keeping them afloat. He smiled into the kiss, playfully nipping at her bottom lip. 

"Umm…" 

"Hmm?" Abby moved away from his lips, showering his face with lusty kisses. 

"Umm… Abby… Yeah… As much as I love you doing that… Oh, and I really do love that… Can we, uh… Move this to solid ground?" 

Abby pulled away, putting on her best pout. "Really?" She winked at him and grabbed his hand, leading him closer to shore. Once her feet touched the sand, she turned around again, looking up at him. She twisted her fingers in between his and squinted in the morning sun. 

"I meant what I said, yesterday."

He crouched down to her level, bobbing up and down in the water. "About what?" 

Her arms found their place around his neck once more. "Us."

"Mmmhmm. And what about us?" 

"I'm good, John. And you're a big reason why." 

Carter gazed down at her, wiping the droplets of water from her face. "No. Not just me. We."

Abby nodded, her eyes unblinking. Carter cupped the back of her head gently. 

"We're gonna be okay." 

***

END


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